Twelve, twelve, twelve!

God's Adventure for Me

Well, here we are my friends; twelve days left until I am boarding a plane for the FIRST TIME and heading out of the country for the FIRST TIME to spend time with God's children in Punta Gorda, Belize. As the days get closer I am getting more and more excited; I'm excited that God has lead me here. I think the best part about this adventure is that I have NO expectations and NO mental images. I am leaving my country with complete trust in God that He will show me his plan, He will protect me, He will love me, He will provide me comfort and most of all He will provide me all things that I need to embark on the second greatest adventure (the first being my journey with Shining Light Ministries) in my lifetime thus far. 

Obviously I haven't left yet but I am already learning some important lessons:

• There are going to be LOTS AND LOTS of bugs in Belize, this is the one thing that I am terrified of and the one worry on my mind about this adventure. BUT, God has been clever in helping me prepare for this. On Saturday we had my father's company picnic where I enjoyed quite a delicious pulled pork sandwich. As I reached the end of my sandwich I discovered something quite interesting, see for yourself! 

Why yes, a lightning bug was cooked into the pork I ate and I did eat the head off of this bug. Doesn't God have a funny way of preparing me? Following this experience I was attacked by beetles all night, there were beetles all over the mailbox when I got home and the next day there was a spider in the car right next to me. I would say that by the next day I became a little bit more calm about these encounters and felt assured that God would take care of me in Belize (not that I ever doubted that He would). 

• Sometimes adventures are better when you have no expectations. I was feeling a little down for the past month because I wasn't overly excited about my adventure to Belize and sometimes I forgot I was even going. I began to question whether or not I was following God's plan and that maybe I shouldn't be going on this trip. The more I thought about it the more God reassured me that this is it, this is what I'm doing and this is the new courageous adventure I will be embarking on. I realized that life is MUCH better when you allow God to be in control. Obviously, there are a lot of things I will be doing for the first time and therefore I have no mental images of what I'll be seeing or doing. God wants me to be surprised and he wants to show me the things he can do when I let go of my selfishness and remember why I am here in the first place. I have no plans. I have no expectations. I have no mental images. I have no hopes (other than to spread God's love to his people in Belize). I have no fears (other than the bugs, which I am much better prepared for now!). I have nothing because God has everything. 

• Remember what Jesus said to Habakkuk. 

"Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, some you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it." [Habakkuk 1:5]

I know that I will be seeing children who are orphaned, people who live in poverty and eventually leave to come back to our country that disgustingly has everything. I must remember how the Lord replied to Habakkuk when he cried out "How long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do no listen!" and how Jesus promised amazing things, beyond our imaginations, are yet to come.  Again, God is control and I need to set my selfishness aside to allow his great works to prosper.




Please pray my team and myself as we meet together on Tuesday for our final meeting before we embark on this journey!

• Pray that God will use each and every one of us in His own way. 
• Pray that we can set our selfishness aside. 
• Pray that each one of us is prepared to grow in ways we never thought possible. 
• Pray that we can work together as a team without fear but with hope. 
• Pray that God will settle any of our anxiety but fill us with joy and excitement instead. 

Emotionless

     Emotionless; this is how I would describe how I feel at this point in time. Emotionless. In 38 days (or less, depending on when you read this blog) I will be getting on a plane FOR THE FIRST TIME, leaving the United States FOR THE FIRST TIME and landing in Punta Gorda, Belize where I will spend a week sharing my love for Jesus with the children and adults of an orphanage. I still sit here feeling emotionless. It's not that I am not excited to go on this trip, I suppose that I just feel like this is not real life. Who knew that I would get such an amazing opportunity to travel out of the country, work in an orphanage teaching VBS (side note: I'm also an Early Childhood Education major, so this opportunity could not be any more fitting) and just sharing God's grace with these people who long to hear it. For the past few weeks I was beginning to worry about my emotions. Is it okay for me to feel this way? Am I not feeling called to go on this trip? Is this what God wants for me? What's His plan? 

    I had the opportunity to sit and chat with my future sister in-law about the way I have been feeling. A few years ago she had an amazing opportunity to travel to Papua New Guinea to share God's grace with those people for almost a month. She brought to my attention that I'm in a time of waiting. I was ecstatic when I first felt called to serve on this trip  and "signed my life away" to do so. I felt encouraged and supported in the short amount of time that I was able to raise the $1,500+ that I needed in order to attend the trip. And now here we are… waiting. I'll be waiting for these 38 days to pass so that I can do what I've been called to do. My future sister in-law said that they way I am feeling is quite normal, it's like the trip is out of sight - out of mind. When you're preparing it's at the top of your head and your excitement is on high but the moment you're not then those feelings tip-toe away. 

     Today I decided to take action on my emotions and I went out to get 95% of the supplies and clothing that I will need to take with me. Before leaving my house I decided to do a little bit of research on what type of bug spray (with high DEET of course, because it was recommended by our leaders) I will need to purchase. HOW EXHAUSTING! The one thing that I need to protect myself is also the one thing that could potentially kill me. I was able to find some bug spray, with high DEET, that was military tested and sworn by. Yikes! With a little bit more research on this product I found out that it could stain your clothing and also melt plastic. How is it that there's a product that we can put on our fragile skin but we cannot use on something hard and sturdy like plastic!? Well, out went that idea. I was highly considering organic bug spray but I wasn't quite sure how this would work in another country (it's crazy how immune we are to the way things work here in our country but the moment you travel out of the country everything is COMPLETELY different - what an eye opener for me!). So, I settled for some good ol' OFF bug spray that will hopefully keep the little buggers away! 

    After spending some time at the store gathering some long skirts, light t-shirts, bug spray, suntan lotion, sunglasses and a compact Bible I am feeling excited again! I immediately came home and got my toiletry bag together, feeling very tempted to take out my suitcase and start packing! Although I'm ready to pack the bags, I think it's time for me to prepare in other ways; it's time for me to sink into God's word and allow Him to guide me spiritually. Although I'm not feeling afraid of any of the unknowns because I highly believe in God's grace, I am feeling a little afraid that I'm not spiritually prepared enough for this journey. I wanted to be bathed in the Holy Scripture and speak the words of Truth but sometimes I find that it's easier said then done. I have times where I am feeling bathed in the Holy Scripture but life easily gets crazy and hectic before you find yourself trying to find your way back there again. I can only guess that this is apart of life? Life would be to easy if we didn't go through struggles or if we knew all the answers to life's questions. My first goal above all else needs to be making myself right with the Lord, listening to His words, pray earnestly and steadfast, and giving Him ALL of me in order to allow him to guide me. 

I will bless the Lord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety. For you will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your holy one to rot in the grave. You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. [Psalm 16:7-11] 

If there's anything you do today, please add me to your prayers.  

I will do the same.

Thank you. 

** As a side note **

Before I began writing this blog the weather was warm, dark, windy and cloudy.. it sure looked like rain! As I typed the "Thank You" in the text above the sun came out bright as ever and the dark clouds disappeared. I think I will take that as a sign that the Lord is pleased!